Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Attack of the Radioactive Boars!

Screencapture of a Plagued Swine, World of Warcraft
Ever since the Chernobyl Disaster of 1986 in which nuclear fallout overwhelmed most of Europe and western Soviet Union, Germany has had an ever increasing amount of radioactive boars plaguing society. It may sound like the student cinematography of an Alfred Hitchcock enthusiast, but reports of radioactive boars attacking people in the streets and blocking traffic have been numerous as of late.

The rising amount of radioactive boars is reportedly due to the overall increase of the boar population itself. While radioactivity in the area has been steadily declining, the boar's staple diet consists of truffles and mushrooms which absorb radiation like a sponge.

Io9.com user "Motionmonk" jokes about the positive side of radioactive boars, suggesting that since radiation transfers heat they could feasibly produce self-cooking bacon. (Rejoice!) However, due to the contamination of the meat the German Atomic Energy Law requires all boars be checked and hunters compensated for those which do not pass the test. Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, no self-cooking bacon this time!